I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
