I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize