Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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