I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
