dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
