I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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