She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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