My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
