I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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