Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
