i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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