i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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