you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
