Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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