Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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