What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
