You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
