we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
