You're so nebulous sometimes
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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