Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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