come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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