It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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