Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We are all done wearing pants today
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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