it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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