dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
