So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This baby is an asshole
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
