I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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