Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
