oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just high enough for therapy.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
