Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
