Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
