Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
