the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
