Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
