So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
