I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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