I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
