If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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