Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
