The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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