haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i think i have two assholes
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
