I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
