She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
