Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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