I bet he comes in French.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well I just put wine in my tea
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
