ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
