toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
