that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
