Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
