why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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