benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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